Should is a word without any power. This is of no surprise to you. Any thought that begins with “I really should…” is losing traction literally as the thought is being formed. There is already doubt attached to it and you've only begun bouncing it around your head. Should stems from a place of guilt, not from a place of aspiration. We all know we design our shoulds with an escape plan in mind: feeling brave when thinking the should, but in reality, uncommitted to it. And what better way to avoid disappointment when we don’t hold ourselves to the shoulds, than to undermine its validity from the get-go.
Don’t waste time on “shoulds”. There's a better way to get there.
Shoulds put the focus on what is required from us. Neuroscience research shows that our brains need more reward and motivation than that. There is not enough power to get you to achievement, even though you know you should do something...even if it is truly beneficial for your physical, emotional, and social well-being. We see this all the time, with our diets, exercise, time-management, etc. But, once there is an emotional motivation that is linked to the outcome (not the action) the brain dumps the frail should and jumps on board to get us there. Must is unwavering, and Want is where motivation lives. The results of the actions driven by our musts/wants achieve the transformation, they themselves are the power behind the transformation. Commit to achieving your aspirations, start with the words you use when thinking. Over time, the commitment to the action becomes natural (a.k.a. hardwired in the brain) and there is no thought or energy needed.
As you go through your day, pause when you hear yourself do a “should”. What are you really trying to accomplish with the actions from that should? Cut through the wishy washy in your brain and see what you are dancing around. If that is worth your while, rephrase it in your mind with your own words so you are hooked. The excitement is what you use to get you through the tricky times you will encounter. That’s your reserve, it will serve you well.